8th Letter from Crimea

B"H

November, 1997

Dear Everyone,

Well, I guess I’ve procrastinated about as much as I decently can already, and I have to start writing! I remember when we lived in the South, people told us we’d have to slow down because of the heat. We didn’t slow down then, but I think I am now — I don’t know if it’s something in the air here, or just my old age creeping up on me!

Now, where did we leave off? Camp was really great this year! Unfortunately everyone does things by “Jewish time” here, and until a week before camp we only had about 20 or 30 kids registered. I was embarrassed to let the counselors know how few kids had registered! But, thank G-d, by the time camp began, it was closer to a hundred. We had really excellent staff — four of last year’s counselors returned, which was an enormous boon to the camp. The spirit was great. We rented a huge gymnasium where the boys’ camp met, and the girls camp was in the same school that we rented last year. The kids really enjoyed themselves while learning about Judaism, and a number of kids returned after camp for our pre-holiday program and Simchas Bais Hashoeva (Sukkos party).

Before camp, when Itchie was in America the Beautiful, I decided to be a good Girl Scout, and “be prepared.” I wasn’t going to wait until the week before Rosh Hashana and then find out whether or not there would be a shoichet (and meat or chickens) for the holidays. I had Itchie buy enough chickens for the summer and through the Yomim Tovim. Also turkey, hot dogs, and chopped meat. This was going to be a real treat! Of course, he brought our regular cheeses with him as well. It cost a lot extra for the overweight, of course, but everything seemed to be going well — no delays or missed planes — until he got to Kiev, that is, (where we had a truck ready to drive him and everything he was bringing for camp and the holidays to Simferopol). The only hitch was that air France had different plans -- they had decided that someone else’s baggage was more important than ours, and took all of our boxes off the plane in Paris!! But they were very kind and rushed it all to customs in Simferopol four days later, where it didn’t get the very best reception since it was already slightly past its prime. The only thing we could salvage from the entire order, which together with the overweight had cost us $1,500, was a few packages of American cheese!

Well, at least we still had plenty of time until Rosh Hashana. After camp, Itchie and I had to be in Israel for his father’s a"h yahrtzeit. We ordered chickens from a large plant in Israel, and even instructed them to have a letter ready from the health department doctor attesting to the uncontaminated state of the chickens, as is required by Ukrainian law. This was to be ready and waiting for us so that we could pick it up on the way to the airport. However, as they say: “A mentsch tracht un Der Aibershter lacht!” Of course, the promised letter was not waiting for us. Although I was frustrated at the time, Boruch Hashem Itchie had the foresight to insist that we would only take the two cases of donated chickens, not the rest of our order, and try our “luck.” Even though the chickens were completely frozen, the customs officials confiscated them, together with several large bags of chicken soup mix, our cheese, and even the cans of tuna. I made one unbelievable scene in the airport, but nothing we could do or say helped. Still no meat for Yom Tov, and the time was getting shorter!

Ah! But there were still the bochurim who were coming from Israel to help us for Yom Tov! We sent two very precisely worded faxes to them, explaining exactly what we needed them to bring. We got someone to donate six cases of chicken. We told them exactly where to get the medical letter. Etcetera.

We followed up with phone calls. One went something like this:
Itchie: “Can you bring a Torah?”
Russian bochur: “Shto?” (A what?)
Itchie: “A Sefer Torah.”
R.B.: “A Seder what?”
Itchie: “A Torah, you know, what’s in the Aron Kodesh.”
R.B.: “What’s that?”
Itchie: “You know, a Torah, Biblia, Five Books of Moses? You know, it’s in the special cabinet in shul called the Aron Kodesh? It’s what we read the Parsha from every Shabbos!”
R.B.: “Oh, a Torah!”
Itchie: “Yes, that’s what I said, a Torah!”
R.B.: “Well, what do you want from me, I’m only in Yeshivah six months.”

I have to tell you that this bochur turned out to be a very fine and intelligent young man, but following a conversation like that, you don’t really think we had much of a chance of getting the Torah, the chickens or anything else, do you? Of course, they didn’t call the butcher to freeze the chickens, or get the letter, or the lulavim and esrogim, or the other things we asked for.

In the back of the freezer I found one bag of stringy diced meat from a soup chicken, one bag of schmaltz, and one bag of leftover chicken soup. These were all left from Pesach, nearly a half a year earlier! From these I managed to concoct fleishig casseroles for Rosh Hashana. Boruch Hashem, after Rosh Hashana a shoichet came to Donetsk, and by the day before Yom Kippur we were able to get chickens. When Itchie was a bochur, the Rebbe told him to learn shechita. He did, but never practiced it, as he can’t take the sight of blood. But I told him that I think this is why the Rebbe wanted him to learn! (He disagrees and feels that since in previous generations there had always been shoichtim in his family, the Rebbe wanted someone to uphold the tradition.)

We rented the auditorium of a nearby school for the holidays, since on Shabbos it has been getting very cramped in the house -- kinda like a can of sardines! The bochurim traveled around to other communities in the Crimea, and conducted very successful holiday services in Yevpetoria and Kerch. The latter is a port city whose main industry has been its fish canneries. It was one of the earliest places to have a Jewish community following the destruction of the Bais HaMikdash. They are in the process of getting back their synagogue, and we had already made a Shabbaton there in the summer, following which they voted that their Jewish community organization should be a religious one. The head of the community asked us to send the bochurim there for Simchas Torah. We agreed, and started making plans. Then he came and told us how he’d hired a band for the three evenings of the holiday and Shabbos. It took a lot of explaining to convince him that since it is forbidden to play instrumental music on those days, the program would be much more successful without the band. We even promised that if the people didn’t have a really great time, we’d make them a free concert after the holidays! He very nervously complied, but called us excitedly after Simchas Torah to tell us that we were right. Over a hundred people had come, and they’d had the time of their lives!

If any of you have been trying unsuccessfully to call us recently, let me explain to you what the problem has been. Several weeks ago, both of our telephones went dead. We have a standing argument with the telephone company over the quality of our phone lines. They insist the problems are because we have a computer and a fax machine hooked up to the system. So when we called about the lines being dead, their immediate response was, “It’s because of your computer and fax.” Having had the foresight to forewarn their blaming the problem on us, Itchie explained that he had already disconnected them and the lines still didn’t work. So they finally agreed to check. They came back with the shocking news that someone had cut the line and stolen 50 meters of telephone wire, and we would have to pay for the wire and the labor! When we asked why we were responsible to pay, they replied that it is because we have a private line! Most people here still have party lines, basically sharing one phone line with several neighbors. They gave us a private line (sort of,) but now they tell us that since it’s a private line, the entire responsibility of upkeep, from the station until our house, is ours!! So we had to pay. Two days later, the wire was cut again. They were embarrassed and this time they fixed it without charging. But then they explained the scam that’s going on. Some people are driving around in their cars, checking which lines have long distance availability. When they find such a line, they cut it, connect it to a phone in their car, make a bunch of calls which are then charged to the owner of that line, and then cut off the phone line and drive away! So now they said they expect us to pay for all the long distance calls that they know we didn’t make — it’s very logical, they say — someone has to pay, and it’s on our bill, so who else should pay? “After all, it’s you they stole from, not somebody else!” Really quite logical, right?! But they do want to be helpful so they’ve given us the telephone numbers in Tel Aviv and Ashkelon, so we can play detective and try to catch the thieves, who are calling orphanages there! Meanwhile, in honor of the four day national holiday honoring “the remembrance of the birth of Communism,” they cut both of our lines again! (When Itchie asked why would they want to celebrate the birth of Communism which is now dead, they gave him this look of incredulity, as they answered, “What? Give up a national holiday?!”) You comedians in the good ol’ USA, take note — you don’t hold a candle to plain ole Russian logic.

I almost never drink coffee or tea -- just never cared for them. So frequently when Itchie asks me to make him a cup of coffee, I forget. What can I do; I guess I’m just not such a great wife! Well, this week, I think I finally made it up to him. One of the men in the shul wanted to make sauerkraut for us. Who am I to say “No” to someone who wants to do all that chopping? I cleaned and checked the cabbages first, which was also a lot of work. But I didn’t realize until too late that he’d added about a half a cup of dried red pepper flakes, and tiny broken pieces of bay leaves, which Itchie can’t stand! Later that night, I hand-picked through almost thirty pounds of grated cabbage to remove the pepper and spice. Finding a needle in a haystack would have been easier! I told Itchie I don’t think anyone else would be crazy enough to have done that, and I think I’ve finally made up for all the coffees I’ve forgotten!

Itchie likes the following anecdote which also occurred just this week, which he feels proves how attentive he is to me: Because of the incident with the gunmen last year on Simchas Torah, we now have a policeman (militzionaire) who does guard duty in our yard every night*. A few days ago he asked our secretary if the rabbi has a secret code with his wife in case of emergencies, because he’s noticed that whenever I yell “Itchie” he comes running!

In the meantime, the work goes on, growing by leaps and bounds (especially the expenses.) We are now at a point that we just can’t keep up with the work, and are frantically looking for another adventurous couple who would agree to move to our "wonderful resort area." There are two cities that have been begging us to get them rabbis. Yevpetoria is a quaint, 2000 year old town with a Jewish population of about 2500. In keeping with the “law” (a very loose term) of the land, they were able to get back one of the old synagogues. We’ve made a number of successful programs in Yevpetoria. Kerch, which I mentioned earlier in this letter, has about 3,500 Jews. They have started the process of requesting the return of one of the shuls. In Kerch we have also made several successful programs, each very well attended. The head of the Kerch Jewish community made a special nine-hour train trip to speak to us and request us to supply them with a rabbi so that they can begin weekly services. He explained that he does not want to wait until they get back the building. Instead they would like to meanwhile buy a small building and begin prayers and educational services immediately. We are therefore looking for a young couple who would like to come now. (Yesterday would be even better!) They would temporarily live in Simferopol, teaching during the week and rotating weekends between Kerch and Yevpetoria, where they would conduct services on Shabbos and classes on Sundays. Later they'd have first option of which city they would prefer, and we'll need to get another couple for the second city. So, Boruch Hashem, despite all the obstacles and the endless gauntlet we seem to be running, and in between all our exciting adventures, we do mange to get our work done too.

Well, I have to sign off now. Itchie’s leaving to the States for a six-week fund-raising trip. I have to start preparing for the Chanukah programs, and in my “spare time” daydream of what other excitement the angels on high are planning for us.

Do svedanya!
Leah & Co.

*[This stopped when we ran out of funds to pay for guards.]